I know I been MIA lately but i have good reason and this time in my life i feel alone and in a very confused place i'm angry, hurt, and most of all dissapointed in the reactions of all that come up
Below is a very open ended statement of my world it's a poem. its been a few years since i've written so please be nice
.I know i'm not perfect and have more then just my share of faults. But i lived up to them, and I attempted to move on from past mistakes. but in reality it was never enough. Everything time a smile lit my face it washed away because i knew it meant it would just be for a second. Every since I made that mistake I know everything would change and can never be the same. but I hope and dreamed someday we would forget and think about what the future held and 3 years later i'm still just the girlfriend. I couldn't do it anymore the wondering what if. what if I walked away then and just said thee end if I would have said no their is no turning back from this. But cried and still loved and wanted to try again. You said you forgave me but that wasnt the case. Inside and Out I felt the differance and time made it worst. So at times I feel lonely and sad just wishing you can look at me with all the LOVE you had when we first met. I made a choice to move on this time theres not debate about what happens next i'm scared and hurt that even still it hasent kicked you yet the yurning and hurt and all you want is to kiss that emotion inside that says I cant live with out you you by my side. I know I am broken and you tried to pick up the pieces and make them whole, but i'm broken inside and need to find all the parts of my soul. please Understand i'm dying inside, i'm terrified and you couldnt fix the mess that other people damage you seem blinded to the pain I held inside.I love you I do but i'm to confused to really be the one for you
